2012 reflections

  Its the New Year... well almost. In a matter of hours people all over the east coast will be ringing in new Year. 2013 is almost upon us and we all know what that means. Yes, that's right, mindless reflections of all the "Stars" that have died this year, which songs made Billboards Top 100, what movie broke the box office records, what major world events happened and even which news stories were rated among the years most candid moments domestically.
  Its interesting to reflect on the years gone by once a year, and to remind ourselves what to do better and what never to do again. Once a year we sit down and tell our selves "In the coming year I want to ..... *Insert your resolution here*..." and then three months into the new year we give up. Two years ago I said I was going to exercise and loose weight, eat healthier etc. Last year I said I was going to pay off the rest of my debt (This has been a process that I have been working steadily on for three years, with the only interruption of another student loan that took hold this year.) and this year I though, for one brief moment before almost slapping myself, of trying for another failed New Years resolution. Instead I resolve to say "I will try." Not follow through for the whole year, not promise myself, but simply try to do something. I will not hold myself to a standard I know I will not accomplish. My personal ethics will not allow me to promise something I can not follow through with. So, 2013 will be the year to try to do things. With this being said, I would like to reflect on 2012 from the point of view of my own life. (This will not entail the events of the past year according to the news, radio, movies or gossip but rather a reflection of my life according to me. If you are disappointed, I must say I am disappointed in you for expecting me to recant a sad story of the last year. You're lazy if you missed a full year and did not know of or remember the things that happened.)
  This year was not bad at all. Considering that I am financially stable for now, though student loans make up the bulk of my debt and stands at the equivalent of a mortgage on a small house, I am doing fairly well. granted if someone said here is the winning Lottery Tick, I would take it. I have started this year with the intent on paying my credit card debt and car loan off. That did not happen do to a unforeseen student loan coming due to term, that is the bastards told me I need to start paying. Its a set back, but I guess its ok. I usually do not like to set a goal and not follow through on it, but sometimes plans change. Maybe this year I can pay the debt down. (What would the Founders think of me!)
  I have designated this year to a self study. This included, of course, a study in history. I had decided in early March of this year to study the history/start of Washington D.C., which led to an in-depth study on the Presidency and the inhabitants of the chief executive spot which also spurred a small historiography on the colonial era. Presidents 4-15 were studied and various books about the colonial era of time was also read in between to break up the monotony.  Anyhow, over 25 books later, I am still not sick of reading about the Colonial era that makes up the early part of our nations history. I plan to continue this study in 2013. I guess I am becoming more easy going and tolerant.
  I have grown more independent, yet closer to family. In the past year I have reconciled difference and a "blackout" period with my dad and my brother.This is good news since I have never really held a close relationship with my brother mainly because he is 7 years my senior among other things. It was nice to be present at his wedding and be active in my nephews life, and also to gain a sister in-law. My dad has been trying more, which is nice. I am extremely glad to be able to talk with him as well, along with his new wife, who is a sweet heart. I have also attended more family functions, which is nice, since I always work and have little time for family gatherings. I have grown more independent mentally and am very proud of it. I am no longer seeking approval for the things I do from myself or others. I am doing things that I would like to do and I do it for me. I have learned to do as I see fit and do not worry about what others think. (Not that I have cared in the past about what others think of me. I am ME and I am fine with that.) My mind and lips will be connected from this point forward 100%. If you though I spoke my mind before, well then you might be surprised. I have become brutally honest and if I think something, you better believe I will say it, and I have been. I am not mean, but rather honest. I'm sorry if you cannot handle it, but that's how I plan to proceed.
  Politicking. I have become extremely interested in politics, especially the Presidential election, which I have followed religiously. (Don't be surprised if you see me running for any type of office in the future.) Thanks to the 2012 election, I not only followed the Presidential election but the election of  Pennsylvania's first ELECTED PA Attorney General as well as a new Congressional Representative. Interesting. I have always been interested in Presidential elections, but I guess local elections are just as interesting, if not more. (I will say that I correctly predicted All but one state that would vote for the president. Not to Shabby to predict 49 out of 50 states on which way they would lean. Why will no one from congress call to hire me for any Job. I will take a pages job. Anything to get my foot in the door. Ugh, I can dream.)
 I have also taken the first steps to going back to school. I have enrolled at a local college to FINALLY obtain my teaching certificate. It was a rough start, but hopefully I have worked all the bugs out. Sigh I guess going back to school after a while leave a lot of room for error. I hope to work that out ASAP. Wish me luck.
 Lastly, and in case you are just tuning into my ramblings, I have started a blog. I hope to continually update as things become relevant in my mind.   I attend to talk about a multitude of things, including but not limited to the following: Religion/ Religion in Politics, Abortion, Obesity, The Death Penalty, Taxes (especially sine as I am writing, Congress has not found common ground to extend tax cuts, which means higher taxes, spending cuts across the board and an elimination of most unemployment benefits) Cigarette Smoke, Rescission, Creationism, English as the official language, and God. Hopefully you will stay with me as I discuss these topics and more. As I have named my blog, Someone has to say it, or I will.

As the song Auld Lang Syne Says:
    Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
    And never brought to mind?
    Should auld acquaintance be forgot
    And auld lang syne?
   Should these things be forgotten and should we let rest the things in the past year? I say no! Why forget everything that has shaped you and made you the person you are today? Nothing in life should be forgotten, you should not feel ashamed, you should not regret. You should however learn, reserve a spot in your mind and stick it there for reflection. I never say "I regret..." I say, "Shit, I won't do that again, No way, No how. Thank God there was an opportunity to learn from that mistake." Take everything with a gran of salt, you never know when something will happen to you that you might learn a lesson from that will help you with some future endeavor. Try not to fault people for making mistakes, because we all make them. We all learn and we should move on. So take a cup of kindness yet, for Auld Lang Syne!
  Happiest of New Years to you and yours.May the new year bring health, happiness and good fortune.
  
  

Waiting room's, Karma and Santa. A crack at standup.

 I like to think I would be good at Stand up. The likelihood of this ever happening is slim, but I though I would try it anyhow. As well, in light of the Sandy Hook tragedy I thought this would be better than talking about gun control or constitutional amendments. Enjoy and remember, life should be marked with laughter and happiness. Make your life count.

Did you ever notice in a Doctor’s waiting room people usually sit as far away from other people as possible? You know what I like to do when I walk into a waiting room? I scan the room and pick the people who are alone and look crazy and sit next to them. It ensures a good time. I sit as close as possible to them and I start to whisper to myself. I say things like “The last time I was here he groped me and then laughed at the size of it”. or “They said I don't have what it takes to really get in there all the way.” This last one works effectively if you go to see a Gynecologist or a Urologist. Then I laugh and rock back and forth a few times to add effect while rubbing the top of my head. After a while the nurse comes to get me and before I walk back I stop and turn to her in front of everyone and ask, “Is it him again, cuz I don’t think I can go in there if its him again. The last time he sang while he did his work and then poked his head up and asked if I could join in on the course.” Then walk back slowly while with my head down, maybe cry a little.

  Crying usually evokes sympathy but when I see other people crying it brings me joy. I figure if they are having a shitty day enough to cry then I must be having the fucking time of my life. That makes me happy. So I smile while they look at me and I stair back so they know that I am smiling at them. Then I may ask, “But why are you crying?” and they answer softly “….” Then I laugh and say “SUCKS TO BE YOU!” and run away! I feel that that is good Karma for me.

   Karma is a funny little bitch isn’t she. I saw a guy take money from a woman’s purse one day. I figured, well if that bitch is too stupid not to keep her purse close to her, then it serves her right to get her shit stolen.” The guy got off scott free. Karma, shhhit. Nothing happened to him! The lady came over and asked me if I saw anything, I said “Yeah. That dude stole some money.” She asked

“Why didn’t I stop him?” I said “Cuz your stupid ass didn’t care enough to hold on to your purse.” She said “Well good luck getting paid today cuz that was your money for the week.” What a shit log that whole thing was. I think Karma is a whore now. So if anything goes wrong, I’m on top of that like Bill Clinton on any available woman in a four county radius. I even try and help before I really know what’s going on. Like one day this lady walking across the street and this guy come out of nowhere and starts forcing this lady back across the street. So I run out and start hitting this guys and telling him to let her go. I finally get him away from her and then she got hit by a car. It turns out the guy was her grandson and was trying to get his Alzheimer’s grandmother out of the street so she did not get hurt. I looked right at him and said “You failed real life Frogger.” Then I ran away because I don’t like conflict or police officers talking about a murder trial. Karma almost got my white ass that time, but I out ran her.

My nephew wrote a letter to Santa recently asking for Avengers things. I told him he just might get everything on his list. He smiled and ran away. Then I told his dad Rip that shit up, Santa’s a lazy bastard.

  Santa Claus! What a fat bastard. He gets to eat at every stop he makes, which is a lot of free food. What a douche bag. The fact that we parade our kids around and make them sit on a warm, fat old man's lap kinda scares me. AND, we let him break into our house once a year willingly. Why? Don’t we usually spend all year keeping our kids away from guys like that?  I don't have kids but I’ll tell you this, if I did I would not let some fat douche bag break into my house and eat my food that I paid for, so he can leave them some shitty present made by an enslaved little person who does not get paid. (“They” don't the term elf. Besides its politically incorrect.) Another point that makes him a bastard is that he only works one day a year. That can't be good for the economy! Jesus, now we have Santa Clause sucking up unemployment resources that other people need. I think Obama needs to put his ass to work. I'm just saying, might be good for the fat ass to work a little. Then he won’t be eating everyone’s cookies and drinking their god damn milk. He’s gonna’ be too busy being Obama’s bitch. I can see it now. Obama sitting on his lap every time there’s a problem, asking for a fixed economy, politicians to work across party divide and Hillary to continue as Secretary of State. A magic way of life isn’t it? Santa would be working for the government; John Boehner just might have to shut the fuck up for once if this happens cuz then he’d be on the naughty list and we don’t like people on the naughty list. We can use his little dudes to build shit we need like bridges and roads or homeless shelters. Maybe teach our kids how to me engineers, mechanics or happy mindless workers. I’m just saying there are many possibilities. And don’t get me started about what we can do with Leprechauns and the Easter Bunny.

Noisy Kids in Restaurants.

When was the last time you were to a restaurant where there were no noisy children around. For me, it seems like its been awhile since I can last recall a visit to a place where I have dined and not had some noisy kid screaming while the parent ignores them.Now, I understand it is sometime difficult to control when and where you child might have a temper tantrum, and I understand babies are going to cry because it is their only means of communication, but come on, for those of you with toddlers, you can control them and they do have a sense of right and wrong by that age. Lets go through this point by point, and I am not picking on anyone in general, but there are many different types of ways to quiet kids that DON"T work.
  One, when people go out to eat, granted they go with their family and/ or friends. Acceptable. Now, when you have a family of four or maybe five, and mom and dad are sitting there and suddenly toddler one starts cry because he did not get jello. In most instances mom will ask whats wrong. Good move, generally they are upset because something happened. However, there are those parents who prefer to ignore their child as if they are not there. I AM TALKING TO YOU. You who just go about your business as if your child does not exist. Do everyone in the restaurants that you go to a favor and stay the hell home. It is you who ignore your child while everyone else with in the establishment squirm and ask for the check as quickly as possible. My elders never ignored me and my siblings or cousins when we were younger.  They dealt with us directly and with a firm but loving tone. why ignore your kid. Do you think they know what your doing? Most likely, not!
  Two, those who say "one more time" a thousand times! My mom didn't even have to say "one more time and..." All she had to do is make a face and flash those " I'm a kill you if you don't cut that out not." eyes. (Come to think of it, all my aunts and uncles had those eyes.) Those parents who set fake boundaries and never do anything once they are crossed, suck. That does not teach your kids consequences. It prolongs the torture that everyone around you has to suffer. "One more time." I have heard that a million times and you want to know what happens? Nothing. Why not just say "One more time and nothing will happen to you." That will produce the same effect, I promise. If my dad ever even had to mutter "One more time." and we pushed him, we either sat in the car for the rest of the meal while everyone finished, or got a light slap on the ass. Kids today don't know what that's like. (Not that I am supporting hitting kids.) for the moms and dads that set the boundaries and do not influence them, way to teach you kid.
  Three, the "SHHHH." people. Holy shit! I think by saying "SHHHHHH." to your kid, you are just annoying others. Actually, let me rephrase, you ARE annoying people like me who will say something to you and upset you. "Shhh" is used in Libraries and movie theaters. "Shhh" to a kid is a cool noise they aspire to learn how to make and annoy more people.
   These three ways are the most irritating to me because they do not work. You want to know what works, taking your kid outside to have a "talk" or sitting in the car with them while other enjoy their meal. By doing that you show them you mean business. It teaches them it is not acceptable to scream, run around, throw shit or, my favorite, turn around to a person like me and ask the same three questions over and over. What I do is humor them once, the next time I ignore, by time number three I have to ask the parent to take control of their child or I will have the restaurant manager over to greet you as Complain endlessly about why you should leave.
  No, if you are wondering, I do not have kids, but I do have nieces and nephews as well as younger cousins and they would NEVER ever behave that way in any restaurant. My family knows better than to let their child ruin others peoples time out. Also, I want to make this point. If I point to a spot next to me and there is no kid, its because I choose not to have one at this point and time. So if I dont have one, I do not want your child as a substitute for something I can wait for. Remember I chose to come to dinner, not the Circus. If I want to go out to eat at, say Olive Garden, and spend a good amount on pasta and wine, I don't want to have a child crying, while I sit there and try to eat my meal that I am paying for with hard earned money. You and your family should be respectful to others and if your child needs a nap, or to be explained the rules to or what have you, do it before so there is no wailing at the top of their lungs. OR, pick a kid friendly place like Chucky-Cheese. I could see, if I walked into that place and tried to have this argument, you better believe I would be in the wrong. If their is an absence of a ball pit and weird animal mascot, you child should not be running around hopped up on candy screaming  Its my birthday!!!"
  That being said, I do have acceptations to my strict "shit the fuck up" policy on kids. One is a developmental disability. I work with men who have these and I know first hand it is not easy to deal with them in a stimulating environment. However, after a set amount of time of having a behavior, you need to escort your person/ child outside. Two, babies. I mean new born, one year old babies, not "My baby." They do not know any better and are just trying to communicate with you. This is all understood. But that's it.
  I understand you might be a single mother/father and you have a hard time being everywhere at once, but the hard truth is, you chose to do the deed and now you have a kid that needs to be controlled. I understand that the topic of conversation is engaging and the "mommy, mommy, mommy"could wait a second, but you chose to bring your kid into a place where they might be engaging conversation among adults. I also understand that in hard times, you can not afford a baby sitter, but you have family that I am sure would be willing to watch our child why you enjoy a night out.
 So the next time you are sitting down to eat and your child starts throwing things and yelling, you might want to control the situation fast, because you never know where someone like me with my views might be sitting. God help you if that person is a straight forward as I am, or Even worse, as straight forward as my mother or mother in law. After that run in, you might be doing take out from now until your kids are in middle school.







http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOFLZIGJ9Yk

Family abandonment

   I  recently watched a documentary that had a lot of parities to my family life. As I watched I could not help but make the comparison between the documentary and my mothers side of the family. Weird how some things can reflect your life. I guess it just goes to show that other people share your experiences even if you dont know it.
  The Documentary I watched was called "Family Values." It is about a woman who's mother dies in the late sixties. He father re-marries and leaves the state that his three children are in to move to the opposite coast with his new wife. He has a "new" family but neglects his "old" one. The daughter who happens to be making this film is a lesbian and her father is a right wing conservative, enough said. I wont go into grave detail about the film, but it is interesting to see how a family member could abandon their family and make no attempt to fix things, let alone stay in contact with his own children. It was such a shame to see this happen to three descent people and it was rather distasteful to see the father so well off in his new life with his new family.
  How does this relate to me, you maybe asking. If you are not family or have not heard me talk about it, then I can see how you could ask me that question. My grandfather did a similar thing to our family long ago before I was ever though of. Before I launch head first into this brick wall of a story, a little background might be in order.
  My Grandmother and Grandfather were married young for today's standards. He was a Scranton police officer, my Grandmother a house wife for most of their marriage, she later worked for the Jewish Home of NEPA and completed some odd jobs. They had seven children moving from Scranton, PA. to Buffalo, NY. and then back to go old Scranton. After the last move they settled down finished having kids and then my Grandfather had an affair with Grace, left his wife and seven children and started anew, not leaving a care to the world what happened to them. After all he was a Scranton Police Officer and no one would mess with a guy who had connections.(Isn't that just the way of the world though. Oh, if you could hear the story about the day my Grandmother found out about " Amazing Grace" but some stories are best left to only the families ears.)
  Anyhow, my Grandfather had a "new" family to start with. My aunts and uncles grew up to be some of the best people in the world creating an extensive family. My grandmother managed with very great difficulty to support seven children, she for a time was on welfare, and though she was not proud of that part of the story, she did what she HAD to do. My mother, who has a very great distant for my grandfather and will, as I believe, never forgive him took it hard. My aunts and uncles have mixed feelings, some talk to him once in a great while, others don't care. It should be mentioned that, in all fairness, he did try a little bit to see his grandkids for one holiday a year. Not much, but I guess it was an effort.  The gifts.... nothing we liked. My cousins (the girls) received dolls until they were well into their teens. They all hated them. I know, we should be grateful for the gifts, but it just goes to show you how little he knew about us.
  You know, come to think of it, the last time I saw my Grandfather was probably when I was thirteen. (I am not twenty-four) I saw him a year ago sitting in a Dunkin Donuts with some person talking. I could not help but stair. Do you know it took me fifteen minutes to figure out it was him. That's sad! You want to know whats worse, he did not even know who I was and whats even worse than that, neither of us said "Hello" even if we did not recognize each other right away. I wonder how many time he has seen us and not made any effort to say "Hello" or "How is everything going? How's the family?"
  It blows my mind how someone can turn their back on a, lets face it, a part of themselves and not really care or half care. How does one go about doing that and not feel anything? I would like an answer to that.
  He is getting on in years and one day he will eventually die. That will not be a happy moment, and I would attend his wake, but I sometime wonder "Would I feel anything?" After all he is my grandfather, which, without him I would not be here but I don't know him. I don't know his middle name, I don't know his favorite color or what he like to eat or if he likes to read. Nothing. (I don't even know if my aunts and uncles know the answers to the above questions.) If I have not attachment, would I be able to grieve or would it just be another guy in a coffin that I vaguely knew? Again, its a shame I even have to contemplate that question.
   In the end our family turned out half way decent. Struggled some, you bet. Had ups and downs, doesn't every family? Pulled together when needed, of course. We are smart, loving, caring and close nit. We will defend each others honor tooth and nail, even if it means spending our first night in jail. We cheer each other on, smack each other up side the head when we do something stupid and tell each other "It's gonna be all right." even if we  have no idea how its going to turn out. You know what though, we learned all of that from our Grandmother, who taught it to our mothers and fathers. We did not learn that from our Grandfather, and even if we did, the credit still will go to our Grandmother, because she was there for us. She help us out, and was their for our births, parties, graduations, weddings and such.
   How does one leave? How does one just simply start over when you have created something so unique the first time around? How does one really go about doing that!?
 

Stress

 Job Stress
If you are lucky enough to have a job during this tough economic time, you know that every now and again, your job can stress you out. I'm not going to talk about ways to deal with stress, that's best left to you to find out or a self-help book to counsel you. I just want to talk about the stress in general.
  Everyone has those days when you go to work and something happens that makes you want to pull your hair out. Undoubtedly it was started by something small and escalated by something stupid, say the wrong form was submitted or a client mouthed offed to you. Whatever the cause of your stress, you have it. You are not alone.
 I deal with it as well. Shocker, I know. :) I have a job in which I am a manger of a group home that takes care of four mentally disabled men. Its not easy, and sometimes the job can require a lot of patients but in the end, its not a horrible job. Stressful and full of moments where I wonder "Why did I take this job?"Over all the job is important and it does make a difference in someone's life. I try to remember that when I reach my boiling point.
  Its important to have someone with whom you can talk to. That's the best tip I can give you. Talk it out with someone. Ninety-nine percent of the time people just need to talk and blow off steam to someone. I try and do that. Its important not to "over burden" someone, so try and switch the person/s who you talk to about your stressful issues.
  Most likely things are rough in your life. It happens. I know that first hand, but we have to remember that home stress is not to impede your work life. Its difficult to separate your personal life from work life, the best you can do is try and hope for the best. In the end, that's all that counts. That and, that you dont get fired. Breath and talk it out. It works, trust me. Also, try and help your co-workers out, you have stressful days too. Help others and one day, you might be on the receiving end of being helped.

Family Stress
  Family is great to have, especially when you are older. However, every family has their time when you think: "What the hell is your problem?" Family can be a stress reliever and well as a stresser. You may have a neurotic mother, or stubborn father or even that uncle who just rubs you the wrong way. What ever and who ever, the stress is there.
 My family can be both a stress reliever as well as a stresser. We may not be able to pick our family, but we can pick how long we spend with them/ talk with them. (I guess I should also add that family is family and you have a attachment to them.) Mom may never listen to me because I am the "kid" and she is the "parent" and dad may ask the same question over and over again despite the amount of times I answer. Its life but its stressful.
  During the past couple of months I have been stressed out with family as well. It's part of life, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. I try and deal with it the best way I can. Its not always easy and it's never pleasant and sometimes I do lose my cool. I usually deal with family or friend stress but keeping my distance. (This works for me.) By that I mean, you take the time to figure out your problems and let me alone to deal with my life. If you have ever had a couple months where you have not heard from me (this only applies if you talk to me on a regular basis) in a while, then this might be what I am doing. It works and its easy to do. Every onces in awhile you might want to try this. But, if you see a family member stressed, try and help them out. Be nice and ask them if you can help. Might be nice if one day someone did that for you.

  Family stress and job stress sucks. Its dealing with it that's the hard part. Just know that everyone has it and the next time you encounter someone having a horrible, stressful day, try and make it easier on them. (You don't know what they are going through, then again you might not want to.) It might just be you having a horrible day sometime in the near future for any reason, wouldn't you want someone to make it easy on you?

Ungreatfulness

  Okay, I will admit it. I like to rant and rave about things in life. It's one part intensity, two parts passion and one part thrill. Do I like to argue? Undoubtedly, yes. Do it mean that I am mean sometimes? Yes, but sometimes the truth does hurt and I don't rant and rave to hurt people on purpose.
 Somethings in life get my dander up, peoples inpatients, unwillingness to try new things, but nothing hits the internal spot that is my alarm bell like ungrateful people.
  How is it that a person who is handed everything in life, A car, a phone, school tuition, rent, spending money etc, complain about almost everything. I am sorry, but people like that need to be cut off. If you start complaining because you don't get your own way twenty four hours a-day, someone needs to step in and tell you whats up. I want so desperately to be this person. However, due to some complications with family/friends I was told not to. So I will bite my tongue for a little while longer. I myself, made the consent to let this go with the stipulation that if this happened in front of me or involved me, that all bets were off. Until then, I will be the one to give council and advice. let me explain.
  There is a certain person who is closely involved in my life and this said person is a adult, though I shall use that term loosely, who still receives parental dependence with financial aspects of their life.This person is use to receiving everything that they want. Now this person is affixed to a person who is close to me. I in turn want to see my family/friend happy and this person does make him happy. I was asked to bit my toung even thought the person he is seeing is very ungrateful and dependent.
  How would you like it if at every turn I said to you, "Get me this, get me that. Why can't we just do this and not that?" "I don't want pizza, I want Chinese food." "Thomas has a skank of a girlfriend and he should not date her." "Don't hang out with him, or her." "Your parents don't listen to a thing I say" Get the picture?
  Lets take it a step further, my said friend/family takes really good care if this ungrateful individual. Buys this person everything, never says "no." i have given advice on how to handle the situation, but he does not want to hurt the person even though he knows how much of a pain in the ass this person is. I have even gotten  the "its not that bad speech." yet, this keeps happening. I keep giving my unsolicited advice free of charge but keep getting shot down. For now, I will play nice with others, but be forewarned, my claws are sharp and my words sting.
  Getting away from this one example and toward the larger topic of being ungrateful, I must say people who do not appreciate what they have Annoy me. Check that, make me so angry that I have to squeeze my minds mouth shut to avoid unleashing a tidal wave of insults and rude things toward that person. If your parents pay for your schooling, rent, phone and many more, send them a card stating your most grateful words because you don't get may free rides in life. I for one never had my college tuition paid for, nor my rent or cell phone. I always worked for everything I had. I was always told, if you want it, you must pay for it. That is, in my opinion, what makes a good selfless person. (For the person who is ungrateful, they don't work, never really have and when they did, they quit before a month in.)  I will not rant forever, but I do think it is important to find people who are grateful and hardworking. Those who are grateful are happy, those who are hardworking are appreciative of what goes into everything.
  If I had my way, I would have told this person a long time ago what I though of them and their attitude toward everything. But, since it is a little more complicated, I will let it go. Like I stated above only until it affects me, then all bets are off and I can't be held accountable for my words. (I am honest, but not necessarily kind. If respected, you will be respected as well. ) Bottom line, be grateful for everything you have, because one day you might just not have anything, and that will truly be a bad day.

Happy

  What does it mean to be happy? I have just finished watching a movie called "Happy." (thehappymovie.com) It was such a good film, and on top of it, the film taught me something and I would like to share it. Besides the things that make us happy, the film talks about something called "flow." No, not the progressive commercial Flow but something that is not seen or heard but rather felt. Flow, as I understand it, is a process/ mental state that you are fully immersed in when you are doing something you enjoy.
  I will reference my own example of reading. Have you ever read a book that was so good you have either read the entire thing in one sitting or surpassed you goal of reading at least one chapter a night? If so, you have experienced flow. I sometimes get so involved in a process, whether it be reading, cleaning, writing etc that I do not notice that a huge chunk of time has passed; say three hours. that is flow. I am not saying flow is a bad thing, made to "eat up" your day. it is, rather, a good thing. It's the positive flow you want to get caught up in.
  The film as a whole is something I think all schools should show. It promotes flow of course, but it promotes interdependency, (who said that was a bad thing anyway?) community involvement, anti-bullying and a way to say "Hey! My live is great the way it is."
  I will give just a few examples of the movie that exemplify the latter par of the list above: The first, is about a woman who was very beautiful. She had children, a husband who loved her, she raised horses and had a wonderful life. She was talking to her sister in-law, who was sitting in a truck, this woman was talking to her from the outside of the truck. they had a disagreement  and the sister in-law drove off in anger, not knowing this woman's hand was holing onto the handle of her truck. The sister in-law wound up dragging this beautiful woman until her had dislodged and was run over by the truck. Needless to say, the woman survived after thirty-two surgeries. She has had her face reconstructed and is living a normal life, is re-married and still raises her horses. She is still happy despite her story. The second story, deals with happiness as it relates to community involvement. In Denmark, there is a thing called community housing. This is where a building is shared by multiple families who have their own apartments/flats and share responsibilities such as cooking, gardening, cleaning, watching each other children etc. Denmark is considered the happiest country in the world and some would attribute this as being one of the reasons. These community living spaces provides friendship, a sense of family, an stress reduced environment and community involvement of each member no matter what age or skill level. The third, and last example I will give is a island called Okinawa. (You should remember this name since it is in your history books in the WWII era.) The story involving this island also involves the sense of community and the greatest amount of oldest living people. The island has a culture steeped in working together. The film interviewed a group of women who basically interact with one another on a daily bases. Since most of their family was killed during WWII, they take care of each other and have, over time, developed a bond where the friends act like their family. They take care of each other when they are sick, or need someone to talk to etc. It was really something to see how they all get together on a regular basis. As apposed to the man from Japan, who talks about work being more important than his spouse.(Japan is the least happiest country and people ate literally working themselves to death in that country. Heart breaking to say the least.)
  The film is very eye opening. I would suggest this film to anyone looking for something interesting to watch. It is a film that will spur conversations to be sure. (Such as this  blog. ) The question I ask now is, "How happy are you?" Maybe some life changes, however small, are in order. Maybe this could lead to a happier life. Pay it forward,involve yourself more in the community, execute acts of charity or Philanthropy, or even just spend more time with your family. What ever it is, what are you waiting for, be happy!

The Thanks We Give

  It's that time of the year again, where people begin to rush around in anticipation of the "Holidays." Gift buying, many hours spent in the grocery store and kitchen to prepare the perfect meal and countless dollars spent in the process. All of which culminate to make the perfect holiday.
  It's times like these that we often forget to stop and be thankful for the things we have. For one day out of the year, Americans give thanks for what they have. One day out of the year... it seems like there should be another day, but then again another Thanksgiving day might just take the "specialness" out of the day. So, I ask in the up coming year (2013) that you take some time at the beginning, middle and end of the year to give thanks to the things and people you have in your life.
  Often times we take for granted the things we have. In a first world nation we can buy just about anything, anywhere and at any time. We have plenty of food, water, homes, money and possessions. Yes, the United States has its problems with debt, politics and such, but we are still a country with freedom, wealth and hardworking people. That in and of itself should be enough to be thankful for. I'm sure you are running late to some event, the dog needs to be walked and that baby you just had is crying and wont stop; but stop for a minute and think to your self: "What if there was no party to go to, no dog to be walked and that baby was never there." How thankful might you be then?
   Its the little things in life that really mean the most. I invite you to find these things during the close of this year and through out the 2013 year. See how much of a difference a smile makes, or simple "Good Morning" to you is, or notice it more when others say it to you. I for one feel a hell of a lot better saying "hello" to someone I pass by, rather than  not acknowledging the person altogether, that's just RUDE. If a person walks by have the decency to notice that human being. Try staying home and doing something with your significant other, rather than going to the bar or a restaurant. Try laughing more rather than fighting. Try more!
   Its Thanksgiving, so in honor of the day that comes once a year to remind us what we have instead of what we want, or have to have or "We'll die," I say I am thankful for the people who come into and exit my life when cued.That they have help me shape the person I am  and without them (both the good and bad people) I would not be who I am today. I always say to myself, "I do not and will not regret one single second of my life. I will take the not so good as a way to learn what not to do and the good as what to replicate for future moments of happiness." Give thanks for everything. Not just one person or one thing, but everything! Your life is rich with beautiful things, you just have to realize it. The thanks we give is the thanks we get. Give more and more will be given to you.

Fast, Fast, FASTER!!!!!!

Is time worth anything if you don't have any?
   For the past few weeks I have been noticing people being impatient. Maybe its me,or maybe its because we like things that are fast. God knows I am guilty of being impatient and like to get where I am going, but come on its really horrible anymore.
   In a nation full of people always on the go, it is almost unthinkable that you would run into a unhappy, over stressed, overworked, under paid, and under appreciated person right? They don't exist! No one would get upset waiting at a stop light for more then five minutes while going through downtown. No one would become irate and fly off the handle because Walmart only has two check out lanes open. That just does not happen anymore.
    On the contrary. It seems everywhere I go, I see someone impatient, checking their watch, tapping their foot as they stand in line, etc. Its horrible but in a nation that has express lines, fast food and drive through everything we should expect people to always be in a rush. The U.S. celebrates Christmas for well over a month for cryin' out loud. And spends billions of dollars on those "must haves" Christmas Presents.
     Lets explore Christmas a little more. Black Friday traditionally kicks off the shopping season. Lets face it, my mother was FINISHED well before Black Friday and my Grandmother was finished well before Thanksgiving. Reason, They HATE shopping with other people because they get pushy, complain, and fight over last minute gifts. Black Friday, the day where millions of people trample one another to get their kids/ family member the gift they most desire for half off until 4am only while supplies last. Its nuts to think the day before we celebrate thanks for what we have and the next day we get into fist fights to obtain a gift for your loved one to celebrate Christmas which was originally a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ. Halleluiah! That's the Christmas spirit. "Don't worry hunny, this little bitch is not getting the last iPad. Mommy will kill her before that happens." Jesus Christ is born.
   Now people have the time to stand in lines on Black Friday waiting to rush into their store of choice. But the Lines to get out!!!! Oh, now that's a different story. Last year was my first and last experience shopping on Black Friday. I was standing in line for over an hour to get a gift for my mom. The family behind me and my partner were huffing and puffing because it had been over an hour and the register was not in sight. Their children did not help by complaining. Mind you these were teenaged kids not five and six years old. Here's my thought, if you want the gift for fifty to seventy five percent off, shut the hell up and wait your turn like the other fifty million people in the store.
    How about fast food. People complain that they don't have enough time to get home and cook, so the drive through it is. Then they do that for years and gain about ten pounds. "Son of a Bitch! Do you believe I put another three pounds on?" Uh, hell yeah. Your ass sits from the  time you get up until you go to bed. You go to the drive through and rush to your next destination. Then, they go on a "diet." Woo, and when they dont loose the weight as fast as they put it on, all hell breaks loose. Husbands hear it for years, that they "dont love their significant other because they are fatter then when they got together." Diet pills! Ho, Ho! FDA approve something to melt away the fat. "Please god, let me fit into this suit before the wedding." Fingers crossed. "Shit! I blame Fast Food." Then the whole impatient cycle starts over again and don't get me started on surgery to loose weight.
    How about mail. Have you ever waited from something in the mail? Yeah... Now everything has to be over nighted, or next day delivery. Are you a teacher? Students want grades lickity-split after they take a test or hand in a paper. We have Miracle Grow to make plant grow faster, sports cars and race cars to go faster, long range missiles to hit the enemy quicker, and high speed internet because we can not wait for a dial tone like the old days. Why take a car ride to Grandma's when there is a bullet train that will get you there faster? Why wait in line and  be impatient when you can move fast?
  We do live in a fast paced world. We do want it now. I understand that, but, I ask of you, please dont be impatient if something does not move as fast as you want it to. Its just going to piss off the big guy or that head strong woman standing in front of you and you WILL get your ass kicked. Or worse, you'll piss me off. And when you do, blame yourself because if the person next to me does not say something to you, I will.
    
   
  

Politics as Usual

It's post election! No more ads, no phone calls or knocks on your door at an ungodly hour. Its wonderful isn't it?
  We know that President Obama was elected to another term as the 44th President of the United States. We know that Americans also sent Republicans back to the House and Democrats to the Senate. And of course, we know how divided Americans are over everything from gay marriage to what type of coffee they drink. The upcoming session of Congress should prove anything but Politics as usual as seen from the election results. Congress as well as the President will have a plethora of issues to choose from during the next four years. Budgets, tax reform, abortion (maybe?), jobs, the economy, energy, foreign policy and of course, gay marriage.
   As of today the U.S. has nine states that allow same sex or gay marriage or some form of it. Good, but not good enough. I, myself, have a partner of over four years. We have, in the past, talked about marriage. Sadly, We live in Pennsylvania (PA) and we currently have a statute stating that the state does not allow gay marriage. My friends often say "You'd think in 2012, the whole U.S. would allow gay marriage." or "Why not? Love is love." I agree with these responses.
   As a young gay man, I hope that the President as well as Congress brings this up. I feel that most people have come to realize that we are not asking for this right to be like everyone else. We ask this right be given to us because we are human too and have the ability to love one another and lead a normal life. I am a history buff, so I will reflect on some words of wisdom.
        "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created EQUAL, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among them are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
Normally I would not us history to fit the current times, because, well history is just that, history. BUT I will make an acceptation in this case. Everyone, regardless of sex, race, religion, age, etc deserves the right to "Happiness." It was true then, and it is true now. Why on earth must people think they are better because they love the opposite sex? Why should they get certain rights and then neglect to offer these rights to other minority groups such as gays and lesbians? Does our happiness not count?
   I was taught happiness is made by you and the one's you love. My parents made that clear. Now, as an adult I have my happiness, but I can not have the right, the same rights that are extended to straight men and women, to marry. Getting back to my partner and our discussions,  we do talk about it, and both agree it is something that would make each of us happy, but my partner hates to talk about something that could " Never happen in a state like this." Its sad to hear that, and I hope one day soon that sentence  that he ends every marriage discussion with, will no longer be relevant.
   Politics as usual. Not anymore. After the election of 2012, I almost cried when I heard that Maryland, Maine and Washington were added to the list of States extending gay marriage and that Minnesota denied a state constitutional amendment to refuse gays the right to marriage. I think things are changing, people are coming around to the idea that everyone should be happy. Will it happen over night? No, but a step in the right direction is better than a step backward, right?
   I am glad President Obama was elected. I think under his guidance, gay marriage might have a fighting chance. I hope, and maybe in the near future, I myself might be elected to help promote the idea of gay marriage. Will it happen.... well, we will just have to wait and see, won't we?