As and avid watcher of HGTV I have always wanted to do home repair and decorating. (In case you did not know I am the male Martha Steward, minus the time served.) I've always wanted my own home and, for years, had dreamed of the splendid things I would do to the home. I had ideas just sitting in the far nether regions of my brain culminating into grad ideas. Large windows, new bathroom and kitchen with garnet counter tops, a deck or patio. Land scaping, green lush lawn and wonderful neighbors. My idea was like living with the Cleavers in 1950. I just didn't have pearls, a whiskey sour and pot roast waiting from Jim after a hard day at the office. More like pizza and Snapple. I also did not have a weird little kid getting in trouble and and audience laughing in the background. (That would be weird, could it be Schizophrenia?) I also did not have a crew of carpenters and t.v. budget to complete the home repairs but that did not matter, I had an idea!
Last year, an opportunity presented itself. As a person who not only does not hear opportunity knocking, no Banging Profusely on the door, I would not recognize what it looked, sounded like or smelt like even if I had a picture that was scratch and sniff and a voice recording. I usually see chances as they fly by, waiving and smiling sometimes throwing the finger as a loving gesture. To say the least I am aloof. However, a family member came to Jim and I asking if we would like to buy a house for a great rate and it would help another family member in the process. We both agreed to tour the property. So I dusted off my "Home inspectors" hat and big boy pants and away we went.
With reservations I toured the property unsure about the idea. (It is amazing how reserved you will become when being serious about an idea as large as buying a house.) I saw the property and loved the area. The house needed work, but was in decent shape. After talking about it a few hundred times in a small amount of time, we agreed to buying the property. How hard could it be? People do it all the time.
Needless to say it took us over three months and many trips to the bank later to obtain a mortgage. Let me just say, I am beyond surprised they did not ask for a blood, stool or DNA sample! I have had to fill out applications that entailed addendum for our school loans (Yes we have that many that there are not enough spaces to hold the loans for school. By the way they give you 8.) tax information for the last three years, bank account information, how much we pay monthly for bills and much more. we did obtain a loan after our loan officer missed the dead line to turn our app in and filling out another application. Hurdle One complete.
The words "I've always wanted to buy a old property and fix it up." have started haunting me like Sandra Bullocks decision to do the "Speed" movies. I've always scoffed at Jim's idea of hiring someone to complete the home projects. My dad would never let anyone do a project. In fact, he did all the home repairs in the house when I was growing up. It looked easy! I helped. Then again... he was a carpenter and I mostly held the flash light and tried only the "minimal risk of dying" things while the project was being completed.
Jim and I have recently started renovating our home. We had started with family helping us along with the bathroom. It started innocently with the bathroom, at first with paint and a new floor. Easy they said. We can do it in a weekend; they were sure! Then lighting fixtures and faucets, oh a new vanity as well. Then it was the pipes. Dry wall, closet needed to be widened, electric and water hookup for the washer and dryer needed to go in. The new door and shower head. It wound up taking close to a month. One room! Thank god for family with knowledge of plumbing and electrical. I would have burned it down. It would have been easier.
As we move deeper and deeper into renovation we have picked up some tricks and learned how to do some things. Yet we are far from masters of home repair. (I am far from Bob Velia. I can't wear flannel and wont grow a beard.) We have gotten smart and hired professionals to do the electric but the waiting game for when they can get here to do it is a little overwhelming. I started throwing darts at the calendar to guess when they will come. We have gone ahead and ripped down the sheet rock, wallpaper, ceiling, attic stairs doors and wood work out of the upstairs bedroom and sitting room. We've decided to start small in case you were wondering. We've rented a dumpster and piled it high. We now understand it is much harder to do the work yourself. However, it is satisfying to do the work yourself and even though the house is covered in dust and looks like a bomb went off upstairs, we know that we can do what we really need to and with help and guidance finish what we started. The Lowes people are nice in the morning and will help you more, by lunch they get mean. Just an FYI.
While watching HGTV, I think there should be a disclaimer with every episode. "Warning: This is easier than it appears. We have competent, sane, cheap and professional workers who know what they are doing. We have tons of cash to cover all projects and if you plain a budget, add $400-$600 to everything you buy even it's duct tape, no matter what and add three weeks to do each project, even if it is to paint. You will pick an unhealthy addiction to the lawn and garden department and fight with your partner about paint colors and which toilet paper roll holder you want. P.S. don't try this at home." I have learned you need a huge bank account to go with loft ambitions. The sky light, paved drive way, new appliances, and pools will not happen. The land scaping will look like you have done it and your neighbors will say so. The towel holders will fall off the wall even if you glue it. The ceiling fan will wobble and the new doors will have to be nailed together after you cut them while using a saw yourself for the first time. Contractors will not show up on time and will laugh at you if you try to haggle with them. Apparently, $20 an hour is not enough.
As first time home buyers I would advocate talking with others who have been through it and ask a million questions. However, the best experience can be had by first hand events.(You need to have your partner drop huge globs of pant on your back while you are getting paint on your brush and have a large piece of plaster almost hit you in the head as you are taring down the ceiling. It just makes sense.) The lofty ideas are still there... to a point. They have just been scaled back a bit... you know nonexistent. We do after all live on a poppers budget. I would also suggest watching the movie "Money Pit" because it is as close to the real thing as you can get. If you are not seeing Smurfs, you're not doing it right!
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