Entitlements. Welfare, Unemployment and Food Stamps.

It's been a while since I have last blogged. Mostly because nothing has pissed me off enough to get fired up about, but also because I've been busy with work and school work. Anyhow, yesterday I got an e-mail from a instructor asking us to come to "class"- Laughable since this is a FYSE (First Year Seminar, Education) and not so much a class. Besides I already have a degree, I've had a resume complete since 2006 and you want me to create another so I can accomplish something? What a joke.- with a "...few paragraphs on our opinion on entitlements." Haha, she does not know whats she's getting herself into, asking me to do this crazy ass assignment. As most of you know I am a tad bit opinionated. Just a scosh.
   Anyhow, I started doing this assignment on entitlements and I realized how much I actually hate the idea of people taking them and never contributing to the system. A sponge or Scrub if your still stuck in the early 2000's and a fan of TLC. Ok, if you paid in for ten or fifteen years, fine, by all means, have at food stamps, welfare, medicare etc. However! If you are a person who has a million kids and never worked a day in your live because your stripper husband, Carl, said he would take care of you for the rest of your life and then ran off with Tina, the puppeteer; good luck with your job at Wendy's because you should not be taking things from welfare.
   If you really need it- I'm talking last resorts before you have to sell yourself to grandpa Ron down the street while his wife is out of town, kinda last resort- then I can see how that would be ok. Now the people who go and buy steak and lobster with their food stamps and use their cash assistance to buy cigarettes, those are the people who should be kicked in the junk. There is nothing more infuriating then when you are behind someone in a grocery store with high priced items and they whip out that lovely access card. I feel like saying "Jeez, here I am trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents buying Wal-mart brand everything and you with that attractive hairdo and missing upper teeth are buying steak and cigarettes with your access card." Must be great to walk out of Wal-mart with free stuff. I'd have have to rob that mother to walk out without buying anything.
   Does this bother anyone else, or is it just me? First of all entitlements were created way back in the 30's under FDR and they were created to stabilize our economy. The entitlements of the day were implemented and only suppose to be used for a limited of time. Then again it's the American way to just keep trucking along with something if it works. Don't get me wrong, I am a Democrat and I am for things that help people. However, I am not for people sponging off of the govt for extended periods of time, especially when the people do not really need it and the ones who do, can't get it. I say they should give welfare and assistance out, but reassess these bitches who claim they need it every six months. "Oh, Mrs. Smith, I see you got yourself a job two months ago. What the hell are you still doing on welfare? Kindly take my feet and stick it up your ass, will you? I've been doing it all day to people and I don't think I have it in me to do it one more time." Then go one step further, have the store send, electronically of course, a list of  what they use their access card to buy, itemized,  to the local state building to let the state know what they are buying. "Mr. Deago, I see you went to Gerrity's to get groceries, you bought steak, beer and lobster with your order. You also went to Wal-mart and bought "Debbie does Dallas." I'll give you five minutes to explain why you bought those things at Gerrity's before I take you off Food Stamps and twenty to explain in detail what that movie was about."
   I think by tracking and regular assessments, people would be less likely to dick around. Then again I'm just thinking out loud. How is it in this day and age people are taking the hand outs and using it to get ahead. This baffles me. If that's the case, then sign me up as well, I've been trying to get a head for years. I say if you want to be on welfare, fine, but volunteer your time if your not working or taking care of you "Honey Boo Boo" baby. If you're on welfare and food stamps and you are sitting home all day, I think there is a problem. If we have people who do not work volunteer, I think things that need to get done, would get done quicker. Volunteer at a church, a school, for the govt (Local, State or Federal) etc, but do something besides smoke, drink or eat home. Be productive or helpful. Maybe then people would wonder if its worth all the trouble to go through this to get entitlements. Same thing with Unemployment. Volunteer. It keep your skills sharp and give you a sense of purpose while you feel like shit because your company down sized and did not need your position. " Too bad Bob, but at least you can volunteer while on unemployment." see how much better that sounds than, "Shit Bob, your ass just got let go, good luck staying home all day, every day, with your kids and mother in law. That should be fun."
  By the way, these points are what I put in the two page paper that I wrote for my instructor. And she thought I would come in  with a paragraph. Sheesh. She really does not know me. I think after this she will. Again, I am opinionated but if someone won't say it... I will. :-)

Why Yes neighbor, you are being a douche.

Did you ever live next to someone or a group of people you just don't like? Not the I don't like you because you're shady, but the I despise you because you are rude, loud and a douche. I live next to a small circus of mental cases. I'm sure if they ever wanted to borrow a cup of sugar I would make give it to them laced in cyanide. The mom is constantly yelling. Not the, get your shoes, kind of yelling, but the "What the F**k! who's is that girl?!?" yelling. The kids are running up and down the hallway yelling and banging on the walls. Very sure the parents taught them to do this. The littlest one is always crying at the top of her lungs and no one says anything to her. (Someone needs to smack that kid. Don't worry it's ok, they suck at parenting anyway.) The dad just yells back about everything. Its in a high pitched yell on top of it. He sounds like Pee Wee Herman getting castrated.
   There is no peace. I think God must be punishing me for something I did years ago. Maybe making fun of someone, the big guy was thinking- Oh yeah, I've got the perfect thing for that. Just wait.- I swear they wait until I get home. I can see them thinking - Ok, he's home LETS DO THIS! Or, He's reading lets fight about the dishes or better yet, the time of day. That will annoy him.
    It does not help that the walls of our apartment are super thin. I mean thin like dollar store tampons. I think they could have splurged for actual sheet rock instead of sheets of paper. Instead I have to hear them yell about the following things on a daily basis: School, work, food, money,  him, her, the kids, the car, cheating, mail, cleaning, cheating, a movie, the parents, the sister, friends, him, her, the kids and so on. (No the doubles are not mistakes, they literally run out of things to fight about and just revisit topics to fill the time.
    Meanwhile in my apartment I just sit here and do my thing with extremely loud background noise. Its like a Mexican soap opera. Who will hit who first? Will she throw him out again? Who is the other woman? Find out next time on, " Shitty Neighbors." If they spoke in a different language, it wouldn't be that bad. I could at least ad-lib and create a story about  their lives. Maybe Mr. loud shitty neighbor just got home from a long day of working at Taco Bell and is looking to have a nice quiet evening but Mrs loud shitty neighbor is mad that he did not bring any diarrhea inducing Tacos home for them to eat, and she of course sits home all day doing nothing and has no time to make dinner. She has to spend her day ordering packages from Zappos that sit in the middle of the hallway and block the entrances to other peoples apartments. She also can't go outside to throw her nasty ass garbage in the outside can, so she leaves it in the front hallway for everyone to smell their decomposing food. Oh the joys of living next to responsible people.
   Lets talk about their lack of taking the laundry room garbage out. I think its fair that every other month they should take it and empty it. Nope! That's to hard for them to do. Maybe its because they failed high school and their moms never taught them to do it. I have no clue, but when you live in a building with others, how about you have the decency to at least stay out of the way of other people. When you get my mail, just knock on the door and hand it back instead of stuffing it in the mailbox and wrinkling it.
    The best part is when we yell  back at them through the walls. After the 3:30 am wake up call where the wife was literally throwing his stuff out into the parking lot, I just about don't care anymore. She was screaming at him in the "Common Area" or hallway and tossing his stuff out when I awoke. I was pissed, and Jim asked me not to go out there. HA! Like I would stay in bed. I walked into the hall way in my boxers and shirt. Still yelling at him with me staring at her. I asked her if there was anything wrong. She took that as a sign that I was interested in her fight. I said "No, no, that's my way of making myself known so you can be quiet since its 3 in the morning." She started talking about her baby. "I said well she's probably up as well with how loud your being." She kept talking. I was pissed. "I'm really sure I'm gonna call the police in about two seconds if you can't be quiet." The husband said sorry and that they would be quiet.
    After that Jim and I just yell at them through the wall and make fun of them. I make no attempt to be quiet or even civil. I figure if they don't have the courtesy, then neither do I. While Jim makes duck noises and I simply yell in many different tonal inflections about random things (The water is pickled Book bag socks!!) is not exactly a normal thing to do, it works for us. And hey, if we can get a little enjoyment out of a bad situation, you better believe we're gonna take it. After all, they are our neighbors.

The Stupid Bowl

    Well boys and girls, it's that time of the year again when men act like assholes, women act like men and they both stuff their faces with hot wings, pizza, chips with dip and gallons of beer. It's one of the biggest days in sports, the Super bowl. Or, as I like to call it, The Stupid Bowl!
     Football. A game when grown men try and tackle each other for a piece of dead pig. Where running up and down a field is considered fun and the ball needs to be kicked through a huge fork or run to the brightly colored zone. Where concussions and neck injuries are just a Every-day thing and grass stains are a mark of honor. Millions of people tune in to watch these men toss a ball to each other and run after the one with the it. How fun. Its cute to see them all get along, isn't it? They are all playing so nicely. They also play for the right to wear rings and keep a trophy. Why not just go and buy a ring and a trophy with all the millions you make tossing a ball to someone. That would be easier
     I just have to say football is becoming more and more gay as I think about it. Its a game where an all male team, who are sweaty, run after each other, jump on them and slap each other on the ass. They play to win a ring, they have to get new uniforms before coming onto the field and "paint" their faces up. There is a man whispering into another mans ear telling him which plays to run and what to do. They huddle up together to talk out everything, and look at the uniforms. They are so tight, you can see everything. If this is a manly sport, then I wanna play.
     I think people make a huge hipe over nothing. Unless its your team playing, who cares. Men are stanch opponents of every team but their own until they get knocked out of the running to play at the stupid bowl. Then they are quick to get behind one of the two teams playing. How is this right? Around here, a lot of people are Steelers or Eagles fans. Now however, I see Steelers and Eagles fans backing either the 49ers or the Ravens. What the hell? What happened to "Nobody is better than my team!" "Yeah,I've been a ____ Fan for twenty two years now. Born with ____ blood running through my veins." Aren't you selling out one day a year for another team? Its like cheating. "Its ok honey, its only for a couple hours one day a year. What they don't know,won't hurt them."
    If it were not for the commercials, I would not even think about the stupid bowl. I mainly watch for the Doritos commercials. All others are just bonus. I saw a good one with Hyundai and a team of little kids playing against bullies. (Right on Hyundai. I love your cars and now your commercials.) Lets face it, most people want to see the commercials. Why else do you stay put in between plays and calls? Everyone wants to see a little kid kick his dad in the balls and have him squeal like a little girl. Its the American way. How else would we sell anything? You don't want to by a tampon from two women bitching about their periods, unless that its Tina Fey and Amy Poehler talking about it and they throw it on some random guys face and pour beer on it to show how absorbent it is. That sells!
    The half time show, how else could we keep all the people who hate football entertained in the middle of it. Just as you are loosing what little interest you have in the game, Bam!, someone starts singing and dancing in a shinny costume and peoples interest in whats on the t.v. is boosted. Whether its Janet Jackson's nipple, Bruce Springston singing your favorite song or Beyonce possibly getting back together with Destinies Child, people tune in to see it. (Though after the whole Janet Jackson Nipple fiasco, The Half Time Show became older and "safer." I am still not sure who would want to see Janet's nipple, but hey, if you want to see something over forty years old, droopy, stomach churning and not made for t.v., I'll show you a picture of Joan Rivers.
  Anyhow, whether you are stuffing your face, rooting for your team or just in it for the commercials, I hope you have a good time watching the stupid bowl.