Happy

  What does it mean to be happy? I have just finished watching a movie called "Happy." (thehappymovie.com) It was such a good film, and on top of it, the film taught me something and I would like to share it. Besides the things that make us happy, the film talks about something called "flow." No, not the progressive commercial Flow but something that is not seen or heard but rather felt. Flow, as I understand it, is a process/ mental state that you are fully immersed in when you are doing something you enjoy.
  I will reference my own example of reading. Have you ever read a book that was so good you have either read the entire thing in one sitting or surpassed you goal of reading at least one chapter a night? If so, you have experienced flow. I sometimes get so involved in a process, whether it be reading, cleaning, writing etc that I do not notice that a huge chunk of time has passed; say three hours. that is flow. I am not saying flow is a bad thing, made to "eat up" your day. it is, rather, a good thing. It's the positive flow you want to get caught up in.
  The film as a whole is something I think all schools should show. It promotes flow of course, but it promotes interdependency, (who said that was a bad thing anyway?) community involvement, anti-bullying and a way to say "Hey! My live is great the way it is."
  I will give just a few examples of the movie that exemplify the latter par of the list above: The first, is about a woman who was very beautiful. She had children, a husband who loved her, she raised horses and had a wonderful life. She was talking to her sister in-law, who was sitting in a truck, this woman was talking to her from the outside of the truck. they had a disagreement  and the sister in-law drove off in anger, not knowing this woman's hand was holing onto the handle of her truck. The sister in-law wound up dragging this beautiful woman until her had dislodged and was run over by the truck. Needless to say, the woman survived after thirty-two surgeries. She has had her face reconstructed and is living a normal life, is re-married and still raises her horses. She is still happy despite her story. The second story, deals with happiness as it relates to community involvement. In Denmark, there is a thing called community housing. This is where a building is shared by multiple families who have their own apartments/flats and share responsibilities such as cooking, gardening, cleaning, watching each other children etc. Denmark is considered the happiest country in the world and some would attribute this as being one of the reasons. These community living spaces provides friendship, a sense of family, an stress reduced environment and community involvement of each member no matter what age or skill level. The third, and last example I will give is a island called Okinawa. (You should remember this name since it is in your history books in the WWII era.) The story involving this island also involves the sense of community and the greatest amount of oldest living people. The island has a culture steeped in working together. The film interviewed a group of women who basically interact with one another on a daily bases. Since most of their family was killed during WWII, they take care of each other and have, over time, developed a bond where the friends act like their family. They take care of each other when they are sick, or need someone to talk to etc. It was really something to see how they all get together on a regular basis. As apposed to the man from Japan, who talks about work being more important than his spouse.(Japan is the least happiest country and people ate literally working themselves to death in that country. Heart breaking to say the least.)
  The film is very eye opening. I would suggest this film to anyone looking for something interesting to watch. It is a film that will spur conversations to be sure. (Such as this  blog. ) The question I ask now is, "How happy are you?" Maybe some life changes, however small, are in order. Maybe this could lead to a happier life. Pay it forward,involve yourself more in the community, execute acts of charity or Philanthropy, or even just spend more time with your family. What ever it is, what are you waiting for, be happy!

The Thanks We Give

  It's that time of the year again, where people begin to rush around in anticipation of the "Holidays." Gift buying, many hours spent in the grocery store and kitchen to prepare the perfect meal and countless dollars spent in the process. All of which culminate to make the perfect holiday.
  It's times like these that we often forget to stop and be thankful for the things we have. For one day out of the year, Americans give thanks for what they have. One day out of the year... it seems like there should be another day, but then again another Thanksgiving day might just take the "specialness" out of the day. So, I ask in the up coming year (2013) that you take some time at the beginning, middle and end of the year to give thanks to the things and people you have in your life.
  Often times we take for granted the things we have. In a first world nation we can buy just about anything, anywhere and at any time. We have plenty of food, water, homes, money and possessions. Yes, the United States has its problems with debt, politics and such, but we are still a country with freedom, wealth and hardworking people. That in and of itself should be enough to be thankful for. I'm sure you are running late to some event, the dog needs to be walked and that baby you just had is crying and wont stop; but stop for a minute and think to your self: "What if there was no party to go to, no dog to be walked and that baby was never there." How thankful might you be then?
   Its the little things in life that really mean the most. I invite you to find these things during the close of this year and through out the 2013 year. See how much of a difference a smile makes, or simple "Good Morning" to you is, or notice it more when others say it to you. I for one feel a hell of a lot better saying "hello" to someone I pass by, rather than  not acknowledging the person altogether, that's just RUDE. If a person walks by have the decency to notice that human being. Try staying home and doing something with your significant other, rather than going to the bar or a restaurant. Try laughing more rather than fighting. Try more!
   Its Thanksgiving, so in honor of the day that comes once a year to remind us what we have instead of what we want, or have to have or "We'll die," I say I am thankful for the people who come into and exit my life when cued.That they have help me shape the person I am  and without them (both the good and bad people) I would not be who I am today. I always say to myself, "I do not and will not regret one single second of my life. I will take the not so good as a way to learn what not to do and the good as what to replicate for future moments of happiness." Give thanks for everything. Not just one person or one thing, but everything! Your life is rich with beautiful things, you just have to realize it. The thanks we give is the thanks we get. Give more and more will be given to you.

Fast, Fast, FASTER!!!!!!

Is time worth anything if you don't have any?
   For the past few weeks I have been noticing people being impatient. Maybe its me,or maybe its because we like things that are fast. God knows I am guilty of being impatient and like to get where I am going, but come on its really horrible anymore.
   In a nation full of people always on the go, it is almost unthinkable that you would run into a unhappy, over stressed, overworked, under paid, and under appreciated person right? They don't exist! No one would get upset waiting at a stop light for more then five minutes while going through downtown. No one would become irate and fly off the handle because Walmart only has two check out lanes open. That just does not happen anymore.
    On the contrary. It seems everywhere I go, I see someone impatient, checking their watch, tapping their foot as they stand in line, etc. Its horrible but in a nation that has express lines, fast food and drive through everything we should expect people to always be in a rush. The U.S. celebrates Christmas for well over a month for cryin' out loud. And spends billions of dollars on those "must haves" Christmas Presents.
     Lets explore Christmas a little more. Black Friday traditionally kicks off the shopping season. Lets face it, my mother was FINISHED well before Black Friday and my Grandmother was finished well before Thanksgiving. Reason, They HATE shopping with other people because they get pushy, complain, and fight over last minute gifts. Black Friday, the day where millions of people trample one another to get their kids/ family member the gift they most desire for half off until 4am only while supplies last. Its nuts to think the day before we celebrate thanks for what we have and the next day we get into fist fights to obtain a gift for your loved one to celebrate Christmas which was originally a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ. Halleluiah! That's the Christmas spirit. "Don't worry hunny, this little bitch is not getting the last iPad. Mommy will kill her before that happens." Jesus Christ is born.
   Now people have the time to stand in lines on Black Friday waiting to rush into their store of choice. But the Lines to get out!!!! Oh, now that's a different story. Last year was my first and last experience shopping on Black Friday. I was standing in line for over an hour to get a gift for my mom. The family behind me and my partner were huffing and puffing because it had been over an hour and the register was not in sight. Their children did not help by complaining. Mind you these were teenaged kids not five and six years old. Here's my thought, if you want the gift for fifty to seventy five percent off, shut the hell up and wait your turn like the other fifty million people in the store.
    How about fast food. People complain that they don't have enough time to get home and cook, so the drive through it is. Then they do that for years and gain about ten pounds. "Son of a Bitch! Do you believe I put another three pounds on?" Uh, hell yeah. Your ass sits from the  time you get up until you go to bed. You go to the drive through and rush to your next destination. Then, they go on a "diet." Woo, and when they dont loose the weight as fast as they put it on, all hell breaks loose. Husbands hear it for years, that they "dont love their significant other because they are fatter then when they got together." Diet pills! Ho, Ho! FDA approve something to melt away the fat. "Please god, let me fit into this suit before the wedding." Fingers crossed. "Shit! I blame Fast Food." Then the whole impatient cycle starts over again and don't get me started on surgery to loose weight.
    How about mail. Have you ever waited from something in the mail? Yeah... Now everything has to be over nighted, or next day delivery. Are you a teacher? Students want grades lickity-split after they take a test or hand in a paper. We have Miracle Grow to make plant grow faster, sports cars and race cars to go faster, long range missiles to hit the enemy quicker, and high speed internet because we can not wait for a dial tone like the old days. Why take a car ride to Grandma's when there is a bullet train that will get you there faster? Why wait in line and  be impatient when you can move fast?
  We do live in a fast paced world. We do want it now. I understand that, but, I ask of you, please dont be impatient if something does not move as fast as you want it to. Its just going to piss off the big guy or that head strong woman standing in front of you and you WILL get your ass kicked. Or worse, you'll piss me off. And when you do, blame yourself because if the person next to me does not say something to you, I will.
    
   
  

Politics as Usual

It's post election! No more ads, no phone calls or knocks on your door at an ungodly hour. Its wonderful isn't it?
  We know that President Obama was elected to another term as the 44th President of the United States. We know that Americans also sent Republicans back to the House and Democrats to the Senate. And of course, we know how divided Americans are over everything from gay marriage to what type of coffee they drink. The upcoming session of Congress should prove anything but Politics as usual as seen from the election results. Congress as well as the President will have a plethora of issues to choose from during the next four years. Budgets, tax reform, abortion (maybe?), jobs, the economy, energy, foreign policy and of course, gay marriage.
   As of today the U.S. has nine states that allow same sex or gay marriage or some form of it. Good, but not good enough. I, myself, have a partner of over four years. We have, in the past, talked about marriage. Sadly, We live in Pennsylvania (PA) and we currently have a statute stating that the state does not allow gay marriage. My friends often say "You'd think in 2012, the whole U.S. would allow gay marriage." or "Why not? Love is love." I agree with these responses.
   As a young gay man, I hope that the President as well as Congress brings this up. I feel that most people have come to realize that we are not asking for this right to be like everyone else. We ask this right be given to us because we are human too and have the ability to love one another and lead a normal life. I am a history buff, so I will reflect on some words of wisdom.
        "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created EQUAL, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among them are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
Normally I would not us history to fit the current times, because, well history is just that, history. BUT I will make an acceptation in this case. Everyone, regardless of sex, race, religion, age, etc deserves the right to "Happiness." It was true then, and it is true now. Why on earth must people think they are better because they love the opposite sex? Why should they get certain rights and then neglect to offer these rights to other minority groups such as gays and lesbians? Does our happiness not count?
   I was taught happiness is made by you and the one's you love. My parents made that clear. Now, as an adult I have my happiness, but I can not have the right, the same rights that are extended to straight men and women, to marry. Getting back to my partner and our discussions,  we do talk about it, and both agree it is something that would make each of us happy, but my partner hates to talk about something that could " Never happen in a state like this." Its sad to hear that, and I hope one day soon that sentence  that he ends every marriage discussion with, will no longer be relevant.
   Politics as usual. Not anymore. After the election of 2012, I almost cried when I heard that Maryland, Maine and Washington were added to the list of States extending gay marriage and that Minnesota denied a state constitutional amendment to refuse gays the right to marriage. I think things are changing, people are coming around to the idea that everyone should be happy. Will it happen over night? No, but a step in the right direction is better than a step backward, right?
   I am glad President Obama was elected. I think under his guidance, gay marriage might have a fighting chance. I hope, and maybe in the near future, I myself might be elected to help promote the idea of gay marriage. Will it happen.... well, we will just have to wait and see, won't we?