Figures!!!

As of lately I have been noticing that people are increasingly dissatisfied with their figure, waste size, what have you. (God knows I am not excluded from this, but I am generally happy with the way I look. I know I am not Brad Pitt circa 1998, but I am also not overweight either.) I have been noticing that friends of mine have been posting fitness/ exercise and diet goals. You know the kind. You have to work out an area of the body until you can't feel it any longer or do a billion sit ups, P-90X , fat to fit, slim and stupid, skinny and hungry... ok that last couple I may have made up. However, I am wondering if its all worth it. Why do we try so hard to to be skinny instead of fit? When did it come to waste size and figure rather than personality and charisma? Does anyone else see anything wrong with this?

I have friends that struggle with weight. I see them constantly battling with themselves to loose weight and I truly feel for them. (I trust it is for health reasons rather than vanity.) I really feel for them and I try to encourage them to meet their goals and give positive feed back. I would like to caution though, that once they realize how hard it is, some do give up, others stick with it for a longer period and then there are those who not only meet their goal but exceed it and look amazing. (I have known some people to establish this routine and become very vain and egotistical. I have to stop and take a side bar.....I HATE THOSE PEOPLE. Wonderful to get that out. Damn good looking and in-shape people make me want to vomit.) There is no shame in failing at this. I have never asked but always wondered why people throw themselves into a fitness routine that causes stress in order to looses weight. OR, to diet.

 I tried dieting before. Not worth it. I know why skinny people are so angry, its because they're hungry. (Give that skinny bitch over there a hamburger please, she's getting mean again.) Dieting is the worst thing anyone can do. You literally tell your body, "Hey I know you're use to eating all this crap, but guess what, you are going to survive on wheat thins and salad for the next month." Then reality kicks in fifteen seconds later and you find yourself face first in Betty Crocker's gooie chocolaty warm center of a whole pan of brownies your mom made you to celebrate the fact that you're finally going on a diet. Thanks mom and shitty body. Those cravings really help, especially late at night. Ever get up at three am and find yourself staring at the fridge wondering where your life went wrong? When you diet you stress your body. When you get stressed you tend to fall back into bad habits. Ie: eating at three am. (This is me.) Then you feel bad you fell back into a habit and you become more stressed and give up or entrench yourself more in your habit. It's like plying super Mario brothers for the first time and only having one life. You know the game is not going to be much fun. (God damn Princess Peach better stop getting her ass kidnapped. Next time that bitch better find her own way out. Equal rights, equal fights.)

Exercising is another kick in the groin. I do go to the gym, just to be clear. However, I am by no means a jug head. I see these super beefy guys in the gym waddling around with their jugs of water and I wonder why would you want to look like your shoulders ate your neck. If you are going to go to the gym, go because you want to be healthy and feel good, not because you want to look like a Greek God. (Where does one get a trident or thunder bolt anyways?) I go to the gym because I want to be healthy and feel good about myself. For the people who want to loose weight and throw themselves into a hardcore routine where they wear themselves out in the first two weeks. On week three they look like they could be cast for walk on role in the "Walking Dead."You know these people, you see them at work and on the streets. They hate life and cant lift their arms above their waste.

My advice, loose weight and go to the gym if you want to. Stop worrying about how you look and have fun. So what if you're fat or husky, or curvy or if you have a few more minutes of sand in that hour glass.( I have a few more but you get the point.) Learn to love that sweet ass of yours! Va va voom!  Make a goal to be healthier and to make yourself feel good, be fit or fat, slim or muscular. Don't diet or exercise because someone says you should, or because its what you think everyone thinks you should do. You should do the things that make you happy, and if that's going to a carnival and eating your own weight in funnel cake or corn dogs, that's cool. You only live once and why make yourself miserable by killing yourself when you could be happy and satisfied with who you are.